Say WHAT?
by shintas1st
Summary: "I can't...get it out of my pants..." Sasuke stated with a defeated sigh.


Hello hello hello!!! How're u guy's doin' today? **:silence: **Okay...um... **:cough: **This is just something I thought of writing cause I was bored. It actually turned out okay though and made me chuckle a couple of times while writing it.

Warning(s): Um...implied Yaoi, cursing, perverted humor...

Rating: T ( I think this is right...should I up the rating? )

Well, since I have nothing else to say, ON WITH TEH FANFIC!! XD

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Sasuke grunted in annoyance. 

" Sasukeeeee!" Naruto whined. " Hurry uuuup!! "

" Can't you see i'm trying, you twit."

" Hey! Don't call me that!!"

" What, you'd rather I called you dobe?" Sasuke smirked mockingly.

" Don't call me that either, Teme!!" he screeched into Sasuke's ear. They were already in close proximity, and Sasuke was surprised that he hadn't gone deaf. For a moment, all that could be heard was scuffling, before Naruto grew impatient with the silence and spoke again.

" Oi Sasuke What's taking you so long?! " Naruto asked, looking over at the raven haired teen.

There was silence for a moment as Sasuke contemplated whether or not he would answer. Naruto shifted uncomfortably again and nudged his hip to get him to answer.

" Stop it. "

" What's taking you so loooong? " Naruto whined again.

Sasuke grit his teeth. " I...I can't..."

" Can't what?! "

" I can't...get it out of my pants..." Sasuke stated with a defeated sigh. _I just know that idiot's gonna laugh..._

" ..."

"..." Sasuke looked up at the blank stare he was recieving. " What?"

Naruto positively exploded. " WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T GET IT OUT OF YOUR PANTS?!?! "

Sasuke groaned in frustration, his left eye gaining a furious tick. _Is he really this thick headed?_

" I meant what I---"

" You mean you just had me here waiting this whole time all wet n' stuff, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GET IT OUTTA YOUR GODDAM PANTS?! "

Sasuke's tick grew worse. " Stop yelling dobe... "

" YELLING?! I'M NOT YELLING!!! WHO'S YELLING?!?! "

" Dobe, stop-- "

" DON'T CALL ME DOBE YOU TEME! "

" NARUTO, SHUT UP AND HELP ME!! "

" YOU DON'T TELL ME TO...what?"

Sasuke sighed. Oh how he wished to slam his head into the wall. For once in his life, he decided to take the 'nice guy' route.

" Please."

" ..."

Sasuke looked up to find Naruto staring at him wide eyed and groaned. _God why is he staring...geeze...now I feel akward._

" You gonna help me or what? "

After a moment Naruto nodded and reached over to fumble, wordlessly, with Sasuke's pants. A blush tinged Sasuke's cheeks as he felt Naruto's hair brushing against his chin. _I feel so stupid. Damn pants..._he cursed silently as Naruto continued to fumble. With a relieved sigh Naruto pulled it out, and with a triumphant smirk, handed it to Sasuke.

" Now what do we say when people help us?" Naruto taunted, grinning wickedly.

Sasuke shot him the legendary Uchiha Death Glare, and Naruto's grin widened as he bounced around, bumping the raven occasionally with his hip. Taking a few breaths to quell his anger, Sasuke turned his attention back to the object in his hand, struggling to keep his grip on the now wet object. He tightened his grip, hoping not to drop it as well as guide it into the entrance. Unfortunately for him his right hand, the hand he was used to using most, was occupied at the moment and it was difficult for him to keep his left hand steady. After a few aim-and-miss rounds, his already short temper was worn down to almost nothing. Naruto, on the other hand, was growing quite impatient.

" What is it now teme? You can't even use your own--"

" Shut it,dobe! " Sasuke snapped angrily.

" Why don't you make me duckbutt? "

Sasuke's eyes flashed with the sharingan and Naruto gulped nervously. He had obviously hit a sore spot and Sasuke was already at the end of his rope. A chill ran down his spine as Sasuke's glower turned into a smirk. Before Naruto could blink, Sasuke had taken his hand and given it to him, using his own hand to curl his fingers around the wet object. Naruto looked at the boy in confusion.

" Why'd you--"

" You do it. " Sasuke interrupted.

"..." For a moment, Naruto was confused. " But it's your--"

" Just do it. "

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and poked it at the hole. After a few tries, he grunted in frustration.

" Dammit...why won't it go in? "

" It's upside down, idiot. "

Naruto glared at Sasuke, but turned it over. One try and it immediately slipped in. Naruto sighed with relief, but in the next instant he was grinning victoriously.

" HA! Beat that bastard! You can't even use your own--"

Sasuke moved suddenly, and before Naruto knew it, he was throbbing with pain.

" Itai! Teme, that _hurt_! "

Sasuke scoffed. " It was supposed to hurt you baka. You should be used to it by now. "

Naruto grumbled and rubbed his head. " Sakura dosen't even do it that hard, and she's a frikin gorilla in disguise..."

Sasuke smirked at the comparison before reaching out with his free hand to turn the knob. He was about to enter when a very wet and very grumpy Naruto shoved past him with his elbow, effectively knocking Sasuke backwards off of the porch and into a puddle. He glowered up at the smirking blonde the best he could through his wet bangs which were plastered to his face from the rain.

" U-su-ro-ton-ka-chi..." he ground out menacingly, his glare promising an agonizingly slow death. Naruto, of course, paid him no heed.

" That's for hitting me you bastard. " Naruto proclaimed proudly before turning around and slamming the door in the advancing Uchiha's face.

" Dobe!! Open this fucking door RIGHT NOW!! " Sasuke roared in anger, dropping the groceries that he had been carrying earlier in favor of pummeling the door with his fists. He faintly heard a ' tsk tsk' from the other side of the door, and he could practically _hear _Naruto rolling his eyes.

" Temper bastard. Let's not forget that this is _your _door that your hammerin' on. Do you really want to have to buy a new one? "

Sasuke was secretly hoping that if he glared hard enough, that he could burn a hole right through the door and reach through to strangle the blonde, or better yet, he could keep on glaring and burn a hole right through his stupid little face. Meanwhile, Naruto had his ear pressed to the door to see if he could hear what Sasuke was doing. _Hmmm...he's really quiet...wait a minute...I can't feel his chakra...uh-oh..._ Naruto backed away from the door slowly. He thought back to all of the other times when he had pissed Sasuke off, and said boy had masked his chakra when he couldn't get to him, and shuddered. Even though Naruto didn't want to, he had to admit that when Sasuke was pissed off he was excellent at masking his chakra, even better at it than Sakura at times, and he was extremely hard to find or detect. He turned, deciding that his best option would be to bide his time by hiding somewhere in the house, and stopped in his tracks. On the floor, leading from the window at the far right side of the room, was a trail of water. It trailed in a slight zigzag pattern across the livingroom floor, but about two feet from where he was currently standing, it ended. He shivered involuntarily and took a step backwards and realized that he wasn't alone.

" Eh...ehehehe...um, S-sasuke? " Naruto called out to the empty house, desperately hoping that said boy would answer from the other side of the door.

" Sasuke I was only kidding, y'know? I was just horsing around...so..." Naruto called out nervously again and looked around. He shuddered violently and then froze as he felt warm air wash across the back of his neck, making the hairs there stand on end.

" Payback can be a real bitch..." came the eerily calm voice of his raven haired roommate. Naruto paled as he felt a pair of icy hands reach into the back of his pants and hook themselves onto the hem of his boxers. The curtains on the now open window fluttered innocently in the breeze provided by the storm outside as a high pitched wail rang throughtout the house.

" YOU BASTARD!! NOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT FOR A WEEK!! "

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Welp, there ya have it! My poor attempt at perverted humor... - -; I hope it was okay, and that I didn't confuse anyone. Just in case i'll summarize it: 

Sasuke and Naruto were standing on the porch of Sasuke's house and it was raining. Sasuke was holding the groceries that they had just bought in one hand while trying to get the** key **out of his pocket with the other, but couldn't, so Naruto had to help him. Naruto basically locked Sasuke out of the house, and Sasuke snuck in through the window and gave him the wedgie of a lifetime.

Hope that cleared things up a little bit. Well, I guess that only leaves one thing...

REVIEW PLEASE!!! XD

Ja Ne!


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